Can you explain Loving-kindness becoming ‘coarse’ at a certain point?
In the beginning Loving-kindness needs to be really strong, like a fully blazing fire, because the mind tends to be distracted easily.
Also, at the beginning sometimes we do our things during the day and mindfulness slips a little bit. We are dragged into these more automatic states of mind. To really break away from these automatic reactions, or automatic mind goings, sometimes we need a bit of a stronger Loving-kindness feeling, at the beginning. So that our mind can really feel it, it’s really tangible and really embodied also.
But if someone holds on to this really strong feeling, this becomes a kind of force, it becomes a hindrance in itself, if there is no allowing it to fade after a while.
Some people might try too hard to really make it strong all the time, which is not a bad thing either, but it might become a bit more difficult. It’s good to know that during the meditation, maybe after half an hour, the feeling will start to stick a little bit more, and in fact we do want to allow it to fade a little bit and become more established.